Holy dildo, Cat-Man! Violating orifices has never been this much fun.
As a returns clerk, Felix is used to getting anally raped by his bosses at work. Each molestation a friendly reminder that he's one of the lucky ones. He's employed. He may not be getting paid, but at least he's not standing in that unemployment line wrapped around his store's building.
Still, it isn't what he studied so hard in college to do. Felix was supposed to be an Equine Stress Management Specialist. He lived to relieve pent up horses, not asshole customers! Poor, poor pervert...
After waiting for weeks in a line outside a ranch, Felix is finally given the chance to do what he does best on a horse with a very different member. Amid an open sky filled with singing angels, he grabs hold of not only that Sacred Horse's most sacred of parts, but also of destiny!
With the Sacred Horse's blessing, and a giant horse dildo throbbing with power, Felix is now ready to become a bad-ass, catchphrase spewing hero and the save the world from evil forces. If only he could find out who these forces are...
'Scuze me while I go suck some nutrients outta the air.
I enjoyed how much this book details the world it's set in, the society and mechanics of day-to-day life, as it included descriptions of the many people who live there. Littered throughout the book are entire chapters dedicated to minor characters who come into contact with our protagonist, Felix.
There's Sheila, a young, unemployed woman standing in a job line with an ace embedded in her stomach.
Albert, a security guard ostracized by his peers for enjoying vanilla sex, he's not allowed to leave his guard booth without explicit permission from his superiors.
Possibly my favorite character is Martha, who goes by Tha and never leaves the comfort and security of her iRoom, her reality found online. The logic behind her lifestyle had me giggling the whole chapter through.
These three don't share much in common aside from encountering Felix on his epic quest. Felix is a ne'er-do-well trying to eek out a normal life and continue supporting the nation's economy by standing in unemployment lines found on every city block.
When Felix accepts his duty to become a chiseled, cocky hero, he discovers a life beyond his meager existence. Fighting for a cause gives him purpose and instills in him a sense of pride fit for a pervert of the purest heart.
Over the course of the book, Felix grows and learns with his leveling-up Sacred Thor. On the horizon are flying toasters bent on world destruction, along with a few surprises unknown to even the Sacred Horse himself.
The style of Felix And The Sacred Thor is what grabbed my attention first. This book is essentially satire, sometimes silly but mostly thought provoking. Mr. Steele pokes fun at many modern day issues such as the economy/job market, education, food production and technology, and he even satirizes stereotypical heroics and their place in today's world.
Felix doesn't feel all that special. He's just another average joe who believes in the modern way and happy to be a contributing member of society. When the Sacred Horse reveals his destiny to him, he is reluctant and unsure of himself. His path is somewhat like the Hero's Journey, but unlike the traditional hero Felix feels the magnitude of what he's up against is too large for him to contend with. There has to be a better way.
Reading the book felt like being inside a video game. The upgrading dildo, the impossible fight scenes, the sense of adventure... I could have been my fifteen year old self playing role playing games by Squaresoft again. Oh, but if only those games had story lines like this!
The absurdity of this world, it seems to me, is what keeps things balanced. When a flying toaster carrying a nuclear bomb inside it is diving straight for you, you swing that dildo as hard as you can and smack it the hell away from you. Makes sense to me.
Sure, some of the logic employed by the characters would appear as absolute lunacy in our world, but after some close scrutinizing I realized the hard truth: In some ways, we're already making the world of Felix and his weapon of mass penetration a reality.
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Felix And The Sacred Thor at Amazon.com
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